• 2008-07-30

    从女魔头到戴先生

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    我是《女魔头》的爱好者,笃信少女心和工作狂人的偏执刻薄。我也是戴先生的读者,一度以为伊是自己素未谋面的mentor,只是一直不晓得这位先生是否字字老实。周末在家抱着一只西瓜,读伊的旧书《空吉他》。在《Dealing》一篇里戴先生写道:

    “…I walked into the kitchen and said to my wife, “I think I'm going to quit this shit.” She stared at me for a minute, smiled, and said, “Great! ” That night, I called up all my artist pals and told them I was going to become an art dealer, and they all said, “Great! ” Within the next two weeks, I had borrowed ten grand from a local banker who hung out in rock-and-roll bars, rented a space downstairs from a lawyer who defended drug offenders, had some stationery printed up by an outlaw printer in South Austin, and got a tax number from the State Comptroller.

    …In truth, Mary Jane and I opened a Mom and Pop store.

    We repainted walls perpetually and burned our fingers on the lights. We typed labels, hung exhibitions, kept books, mailed invitations, and served cheap champagne in plastic glasses to the locals. We were twenty-six years old. We sold works of art by artists who were twenty-six years old (or maybe a little younger) to collectors who were twenty-six years old (and maybe a little older)…”

     

    读到这里,当天躲开村里冗长无趣的展览开幕式的我仿佛看到了《女魔头》里秃头先生说的“a shiny beacon of hope”,过去三年的日日夜夜又浮现眼前。就像电影里的笨姑娘一样,我幻想自己又一次进入了那个不存在的文化世界。

    戴先生在前言里写过他的文化世界,不免让我咬牙切齿地嫉妒起来:  

    “The whole cultural enterprise, when I was growing up, was at once intimate and a little mysterious. It took place at home, in other people's homes, and in little stores. Everywhere my family went to live, there were bookstores and record shops, art galleries and jazz clubs, where otherwise normal people did all these cool things. And nobody knew anything about it. My teachers didn't know about it. The newspapers, my scoutmasters, the television, my friends, nobody knew about it. I chose to dwell in that underground empire for the first forty-seven years of my life -- in record stores, honky tonks, art bars, hot-rod shops, recording studios, commercial art galleries, city rooms, jazz clubs, cocktail lounges, surf shops, bookstores, rock-and-roll bars, editorial offices, discos, and song factories. I lived the freelance life, in other words, until 1987 when, faced with the unavailability of health insurance, I began to take teaching gigs in universities. There I discovered that, according to the masters of my new universe, all the cruelties and inequities of this civilization derived from the greed and philistinism of shopkeepers, the people who ran these little stores, who bought things and sold them, as I had done.”

     

    可是眼前的这个村子贫瘠得只剩下了人民币和酒杯,不要说那个虚幻的文化世界和心灵美了,连美少年都是不存在的。贫穷的文艺打工仔只能搭车去城里的夜店,掏钱买醉,看另一个虚无世界里的美少年们提着翘臀前拥后抱。


    一年前,听过戴先生的讲座,谈他和他的文艺世界:

    “Did anyone get into the art world to make money? I got into it for sex and drugs but not for money. Why is everyone worrying about money? What are you going to do if you get a lot of money? Are you going to buy a boat? Are you going to buy an apartment in Paris? Jesus, stop it!”

     

    但最近好几次,当拿起酒杯、走进开幕式、开口寒暄拥抱时,我瞟了一眼墙上的作品,终于确信戴先生的世界是虚构的。

     

     

    http://blog.daytonc.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/airguitar.jpg

     

     

     

     

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  • 半夜还不睡?
  • 呵呵, 憑想像編造出來并利用想像的沒有真實根據的內容來填補記憶缺陷的地盤.

    寫的真好!